It's way past my bedtime, my eyes are sore from a good hearty sob over Jane Eyre, and my rear end is numb from sitting trawling through new blogs which might explain as to why the only title I could think of for this post was Mrs. It is my title after all! Mrs.
Anyway, it's not like i've got anything really to say. No creative musings to air, or children to photograph and share their splendour. Nope. None of that. Could just go to bed. Have to finish the jelly first though. Mmmm., yes a pint of strawberry jelly that was made with all the best intentions for my kinder, but all along I think it knew it wouldn't make it through the night. Life expectancy of jelly in this house is measured in how long it takes to set and no longer! tonights feast is the 'set in less than an hour' variety that when placed close to the open back door with occasional blasts of COLD autumn air, sets in approximately half the said time! RESULT! Incase you're wondering whether or not I am eating from a vintage bowl or dish worthy of a description..I shall scoff at the thought of it. Pyrex 1 litre jug and a large serving spoon. The same way as emergency, menstrual demanding instant potato mash is best eaten straight from the same jug with lashings of salty welsh butter, there is no point in serving jelly. (Parties excluded!)
I have memories flooding back to me...and feel a tesco.com order coming on for Dream Topping(!) which I used to eat by the pyrex jug full!
Where did that come from? I had no intention of telling you that I was scoffing jelly. Oh dear.
My mind at the moment is shot to bits with heavy, emotional, bleurgh! 'stuff'. What should be a happy, exciting and generally wonderful time in a familys life is being spoiled by people whose job it is to make these things happen! I realise that without telling you more that that may sound,will definately sound melodramatic and attention seeking! I have planned all week to write tonight about life here with me and us. Tonight doesn't seem to be the night. Sorry. I'm thinking that to put the most personal 'stuff' out there is more pressure. Will it make me feel better, will writing it all down stop me biting my fingernails tips down to the bone? Will it stop me eating and menu planning Pyrex jug meals? Will I lose the feeling that I have someone, a large, solid being kneeling on my chest making it hard to 'really' breathe? Bleurgh!

Oh for goodness sake. I have taken myself off for a good talking to and a vigorous shaking. There is something going on here but noone has died, everyone is ok, dh is in London for 2 sleeps but hasn't gone anywhere (if you know what I mean), and so I have more than my fair share of big buckets full of things to be grateful for and in the grander scheme of things little to moan about. Bleurgh talk over for now. I must share the other stuff at some point because it is an enormous part of me and I want to share. Best done I feel without the jelly. Could get very messy! The photo is of a bird in my lounge that lives high up by the picture rail. It was originally a xmas decoration many moons ago but one year it stayed up and never went away. It makes me think of one of my most favourite books which i find gives me a familiar calm. I am fully aware that i am not a photography expert and apologise for poor lighting etc. but it is very late and I got up to take the photo as if I'd pooped my pants because my legs have gone to sleep. Trying to keep the camera still and balance was no mean feat!
I shall leave now and climb the wooden hill to bed. Probably find a plastic scorpion under the pillow or a half eaten Rolo left on my pillow from the two darlings that are sleeping upstairs. Love that.
What will today bring...